does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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