Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
