what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
