Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize