I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I love having hate sex.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
