And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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