"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
