I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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