I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
