I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
