mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
