11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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