bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
