my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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