Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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