Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
