Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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