At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
