Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
