Sry I called you an 8
She's JV to your varsity
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
