Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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