I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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