id be glad to
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
As shirtless as possible
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
