Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
