her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
