I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
