I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize