brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
