The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
