I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Quick, to the slutcave!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
