Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
