Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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