Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hippo gnu deer
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
