you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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