Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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