the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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