I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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