I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
third nipple confirmed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
