your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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