Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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