member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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