Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
