also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
