There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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