Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize