Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
