is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
