It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.