dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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