You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
