Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
