OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
