So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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