he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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