ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
