Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
