Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
