oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
