You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
