So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
