Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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